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What can you do when you are feeling stuck?
We all have days where we feel a bit stuck.
Not sure what your next step should be or lack of motivation to check off your to do list? (hello holidays!)
There are two potential paths to take on a day like this.
1️⃣ Go down a shame spiral filled with guilt
2️⃣ Focus on setting yourself up for a better tomorrow
Either way, you may still have a crap day, but taking the second path will give you a better shot at cutting off shame at the knees.
I know how easily the shame spiral can stay with you for days.
So..how do we set ourselves up for a better tomorrow?
When I think about what helps me turn the page on how I am feeling, I find myself organizing my physical life.
It almost feels a bit like nesting.
Something magical happens when you tidy up your surroundings.
Organizing my physical space starts to help me organize my mental space.
It may not bring you all the answers you need, but it will set you upon a path of getting there.
What are some of the signs that you should step away?
▶ Staring at your computer aimlessly
▶ Doom scrolling on social media
▶ Clicking through all of your open tabs
▶ Sitting in one place for most of the day
▶ Racing thoughts
▶ Clenched jaw
When you are feeling stuck, you may believe that you need to sit at your desk until something happens.
Or...you face not feeling accomplished for the day.
The funny thing is, once you step away from your computer and focus on your physical surroundings, it clears up mental space to tackle your to-do list tomorrow (or even the same day!).
I realize that working from home (and now owning my own business) will make this even harder to accomplish.
If you are not sitting at your desk, you are not doing the work.
The more I understand and learn when I should walk away from my to-do list, I understand that, a lot of the time, the real work happens when you are not actually focusing on the work.
We need to give our minds space and freedom to roam a bit. Let it breathe in all of the ideas that you thought up. It will feel like things click into place.
What has worked for you to get past that ‘stuck’ feeling?
Let us know in the comments! ⤵
How Important are Internal Relationships at Work?
Building mutually beneficial relationships is one of my favorite things to forge.
There is nothing like a win-win.
Working with a partner that is totally bought in makes it easy to stay motivated.
It becomes exciting to figure out the puzzle pieces together.
Ready to go ALL IN on the project you are working on.
This is all very satisfying.
What took me a minute to realize is that the most important relationship to foster may not be the first one you think about.
Surprise: it's your colleagues.
The people that you are working side by side with day in and day out.
Now imagine the same scenario above with your colleagues.
Thinking creatively about solutions together.
Going ALL IN.
Coming up with a win-win to tackle the project.
Now THAT sounds satisfying.
Not only does it benefit your current position with your current colleagues, it will benefit the future you as well. Promise it.
Here are a few things I have learned along the way:
1️⃣ You are all working towards the same end goal
→ for X company to be successful
2️⃣ There is a lot happening behind the scenes
→ try to not take things personally
3️⃣ You are going to disagree once in a while
→ approach the conversation with a thinking cap on
4️⃣ Most of the time everybody is a bit overworked
→ consider this when communicating internally
Thinking back to some of my most valued work relationships, I thought about the time a few of us enjoyed Disneyland together in 2019 (pictured below).
Just a reminder of how important (and beneficial) these relationships truly are.
How do we make plans (but stay flexible)?
You want to plan your life the best way you know how.
You want to continue to grow.
You want to plan for the worst and hope for the best.
You want joy.
You want peace.
You want to thrive.
Easier said than done, right?
This time of year is always interesting.
The season is changing.
We start to get this sense of hunkering down for the winter.
We start to feel the weight of the year.
Our minds are asking us to slow down, but we are not sure how.
I have been feeling a sense of resistance lately.
When I thought about it, I realized that I haven't checked in on my 'why' in a while.
I can make all the plans in the world, but the one thing that we can be sure of is - the only constant in life is change.
If we are too rigid with our plans it will not allow for life to flow.
What are a few things we can do when we start to feel that resistance?
Slow your stream of thoughts down: Pause. Take one deep breath, hold it at the top and let it all out. Try to calm the racing thoughts down. Focus on one object and observe it. Check in with yourself. How are you feeling? Where am I not feeling my best?
Write it (all) down: Get it out of your head and on paper (or computer or tablet). This will help to untangle all of your thoughts and create the space that is needed and essential to remember your why.
Tidy up your workspace: A tidy workspace will help your mind focus and feel clutter free. When you have an untidy workspace, it is easy to feel distracted and distant from what you are trying to work on.
Move your body: You gotta shake things up. Unlock your jaw. Take 3-5 deep breaths. Put on your favorite music and work out all that stress. Get that blood flowing.
Refocus: Open your favorite notebook and start to map out how you want to feel in your day to day. What is helping you show up each day? What is holding you back? Maybe pull a few tarot cards to pull in some divine energy. Whatever you need to do to refocus and remember your why (right now).
It can be very easy to disconnect from your 'why' along the way.
It is essential to revisit the 'why' behind everything you are doing to ensure you are still in line with and moving in the right direction.
This will always re-motivate you when things may feel heavy or harder than you would like. You know those times that you are cranking out so much effort but not seeing the return...it is especially needed during these times.
As someone who is doing a lot of work behind the scenes, it becomes very easy to lose my why when I don't have anything to share publicly (yet). It becomes easy to forget that each day that I show up, I am doing it because of my 'why'. Without that external validation, it becomes easy to forget.
So, what is my why?
I want to help people find their voice and live their most authentic life.
I spent many years feeling unheard, unseen, not validated, less than.. it makes you doubt who you are and what your purpose in life is.
Let me tell you - you are not alone - and there is a path to finding your voice and living a life that you have only dreamed of.
I can't wait to share with you what I have been working on behind the scenes. As I continue to remember my why, I hope that you will take a moment to remind yourself that you are worthy.
So as we continue to make plans for our lives (while staying flexible), I hope you do not give up on those dreams of yours. Keep paving the way for the next great thing that is just waiting for you around the corner.
Until next time.
Kristina
Don't let your ego get in the way of you doing great things
I am currently in a place of deep introspection.
A ton of big questions.
"What do I want my life to look and feel like a year from now?"
"5 years from now?"
"What is my true purpose and deepest desires?"
"Am I doing enough?"
"What if I fail?"
As these words rip through me, I can feel them holding me back.
When it comes down to it, I still feel like a newbie entrepreneur.
Almost 11 months into this journey.
A lot of untapped potential.
I want to ask the big questions.
Keep moving forward on my path.
What I don't want to happen, is for my ego to get in the way.
That pesky little bugger that likes to chime in when you are doing hard things.
What happens when the ego gets in the way?
Comparing your journey to others.
Seeking validation of oneself.
Losing focus of your own progress.
Wishing you were further ahead.
Missing out on what is right in front of you.
Standing still instead of moving forward.
Everybody's mountains look different
You will only feel 'less than' when comparing your mountains to someone else's.
Why?
Because everybody has a different path.
Nobody is going to have the same journey as you.
Right now it might be rocky, but around the corner your path may become smooth.
I found myself recently looking to others for confirmation.
To confirm that I am on the right path.
All that did was make me feel like I am behind.
That I will never get to a point where so many find themselves.
From a distance, it seems easy.
Like overnight success.
What I don't see, is the hours / years of work that was put in.
To get them to a point where things may be a littler easier for them.
I started to take a closer look at my mountains.
My own progress.
First of all, it has only been 11 months since I set off on this journey!
Can I be a little nicer to myself?
Second of all, when I looked at what my mountains looked like a year ago.
3 months ago.
28 days ago.
I started to see it.
I'm making my own path.
I am doing something new.
I am finding my way.
What should you do when your ego starts getting in the way?
This is my current guiding light:
Pause
Take a few deep breaths
Refocus your energy on you
Remind yourself that things don't happen overnight
Take a break from thinking for a little
Do something that brings you joy
Get back to the grind
Repeat as necessary
In conclusion
You will feel a bit uncomfy when doing something new, important, life-changing.
There is no secret sauce to get comfy again.
Generally you have to plow straight through that feeling to get to the other side.
What I do know is, the more you conquer this, the easier it will get to face it.
Don't let your ego hold you back from doing great things.
You got this (this is for all of us).
Thanks for being here, friend.
Until next week.
-Kristina
What does success look like to you?
My answer to this question has changed over the years.
Growing my career from my first co-op job in high school as a receptionist at the local school district to an Associate Director of Public Affairs in the shared transportation space.
My idea of success was altered when I reached a high point in my career and I still did not 'feel' successful.
This is the moment I have been waiting for, right?
Society pressures us to think about success often:
are we successful?
are we doing enough?
fear of failure.
fear of regret.
What does success actually look like (for you)?
Last Semester of University
Taking it back to the year 2006 - I was in the very last semester before I received my degree from La Salle University - starting to feel the relief of making it through my education when all of a sudden I felt like I was hit by a truck.
That is the only way I could explain it, the only detail I could provide to my doctor at the time. I felt a bit crazy and blamed it on the stress of my last semester, but after not improving, I decided it was time to make an appointment.
The doctor couldn't diagnose my array of symptoms without additional testing (my right elbow hurts when I stretch it, my left foot hurts in the morning, I am exhausted no matter how much sleep I get, oh and sometimes I can't walk up the stairs without pain).
I was a 22 year old about to graduate from college and I felt crazy and scared.
The doctor sent me to get some bloodwork done and (I feel so lucky about this) was able to diagnose me immediately.
I got the call.
I have lupus.
What even is lupus? My mom and I probably did the worst thing you could do in this situation - we googled it.
They don't know how you get it. They also don't know how to cure it.
Fear and panic of the unknown took over, because long story short, my life was going to change forever.
All of my future plans seemed hazy and I initially shut down and didn't want to see or talk to anybody.
Two rheumatologists later (we won't go into why I cancelled the first one), I found someone that I trusted would get me through this and maybe even help me bring my future back into focus.
This part wasn't easy.
I had to be put on a lot of medication to calm my initial flare and, at the time, success was simply being able to walk to the stage and receive my diploma at graduation.
I did.
My doctor promised me that I would, and she meant it. I will forever be thankful for the compassion she showed me during my time with her. I know that everybody isn't as lucky.
After Graduation
My entire '5-year' plan went out the window. I felt lost and unsure if I would ever be able to hold a full-time job. I didn't know how long it would take for me to figure out how lupus was going to impact my day to day and if I was able to manage it.
I decided to go back to a summer job I held the previous year as camp counselor.
I spent my summer entertaining kindergartners and they reminded me that life doesn't have to be so complicated.
After this, I started to manage my lupus symptoms better. We found the mix of medications that I needed to improve and get me back on track.
Time to face the music
It was time to see if I could make it in the 'real world'. I applied to entry-level marketing jobs and found out very quickly that this meant sales jobs. Every interview made me feel a little bit more depressed about my future.
It was just not for me.
I did a crazy thing at the time and decided to look for an internship instead.
This was a way for me to gain additional experience in my field and do something that I really wanted to do. I was lucky and found a paid internship at a small business.
Very quickly, I was promoted to full-time and I was given space to test out my generalist approach (without realizing I was doing so! thanks Milly Tamati for opening my eyes to this).
I worked with a lot of moms and it was exactly the atmosphere I needed in order to be vulnerable, but also prove that I CAN DO THIS.
One year quickly went by before a company reached out to recruit me.
They were based in Orlando, Florida.
They FLEW ME OUT to conduct my interview.
This blew my mind at a young age, early in my career. I am really worth the time and money to fly me out for an interview? HELL YES I AM.
I got the job and steadily grew my career from there. We can chat about all of those details at a later time, but you get the point..
I honestly had no choice but to change my perspective on what 'success' means to me.
What does success mean to me today?
Success no longer means having a fancy title.
Success is laughing so hard that I cry.
Success is asking myself the hard questions.
Success is feeling fulfilled in life - body, mind and soul.
Success is going after what I really want, even if it is not traditional.
Success is not shying away from sitting with my thoughts and feelings.
Success means that I am able to show up for my loved ones when they need it (and even when they don't).
I spent my entire career never fully satisfied because I was always seeking the next best thing.
For the first time, I am finally understanding what success means to me and it has nothing to do with how much money I have in the bank.
Here's to continuing to push ourselves out of our comfort zones, because that is where the real stuff lives.
Wishing you a 'successful' week.
Until next time.
-Kristina
