How do we survive (and maybe even thrive) during the in-between?

The more life you have lived, the more you understand that there are going to be a lottt of in-between periods. Defined as, "situated somewhere between two extremes or recognized categories; intermediate."

Sitting here -- living in the in-between right now -- I can tell you it is not a comfortable feeling.

My mind is constantly racing trying to find something that it can do to control the situation; going through every possible outcome and what I would do in each of them.

It is kind of scary to think that most of the time you have no control of what is going to happen. We are in constant motion and that comes with a lot of different variables. In a recent conversation with a friend about the in-between he said,

"it does make it harder to surrender control when it's not something i can actually affect"

YES. We will torture ourselves during this phase knowing that we have very little control, if at all, on what is going to happen. When should we switch from preparing and considering everything to surrendering to what will happen; releasing expectations?

It is so much harder than it sounds. I don't know if there will ever come a time where, getting a little uncomfy during the in-between, goes away (please please tell me if I am wrong). So, how can we survive this period..and maybe, just maybe start to thrive during the in-between.

I am still a work in progress, but here are a few things that have helped me along my journey:

Recognize you are in the in-between

A crucial first step to gaining back some of your sanity during this time. You will most likely have racing thoughts. You may feel unsure of yourself and the direction you are taking. You may be questioning everything. The clarity of understanding why you are feeling this way can be freeing.

Sit with your feelings

This may be the most uncomfortable part, but I find it paramount to work my way out of fight or flight. It helps me stabilize my emotions and see more clearly. The main takeaway here is - when sitting with your feelings, you are not trying to fix anything or answer any questions - you view them from a distance. Let them wash in and wash out without any attachment.

Consider all of the hard work that got you to this point

You may not feel your most confident during the in-between - know that this is totally normal. You may feel like you are not accomplishing anything during this time, while you may be watching those in your community achieving. This is the time to reflect and remember everything you have already achieved, conquered, and accomplished. Everybody and everything has its own timing. It may be hard to sit with this because you will most likely be seeking external validation during this time, grasping for something..anything to make you feel seen.

List out everything else that could use your attention

Now it is time to trick your brain a bit. There are most likely other items that could use your attention. Take a moment to write down what else is going on in your life. What are the things you want to do for yourself? This will help refocus on what is going on in your world vs. comparing yourself to everybody else's perfectly curated social media feed. Now go do those things.

Keep showing up

One step in front of the other. One day at a time. One moment at a time. Just keep showing up. Not for anybody else, but for YOU. Instead of spending too much time worrying, stressing, curled up in a ball - especially when there is very little you can do to change the trajectory of something - reflect, refocus, keep moving forward. Trust. I truly believe that life happens for us and not to us, even when things are hard and uncomfortable. Don't get stuck in your own way. Let things be. Easier said than done (I know), but the more we practice this, the more we will witness the power it has.

Have fun

Probably the most important - don't forget to have fun! We get so caught up in the worrying and thinking that we forget to enjoy the right now.

To all those currently in the in-between. I see you. We got this. Who knows, the other side may be even better than we could imagine.

-Kristina